Nirvana(on-going project)

NIRVANA (on-going project)

"Mom, if reincarnation exists, what would you want to be in your next life?"
"No, I don’t want to be reborn."

In the early 1970s, Korea was still dominated by conservative Confucian values, and it was rare for women to have careers. Marriage and becoming a housewife were considered the norm. In an era when three generations often lived together, my mother had to take care of not only my grandparents but also my younger uncles and aunts, as well as my older sister and me, while managing all the household chores.

Korean women of that time silently endured the everyday discrimination and domestic violence that were ingrained in society. They lived not for their own lives but as someone's wife and someone's mother.

In Buddhism, it is said that one can attain Nirvana by shedding all karma and escaping the cycle of reincarnation. Growing up watching my mother’s life, I sincerely hope, in her next life, she could live happier—or perhaps, attain Nirvana.

This ongoing project narrates the struggles and strength of women through personal memories in the traditional Korean society of the time. I aim to tell their difficult lives in a humorous and playful way, turning their hardships into something positive.

Curly Permed Hair

I never saw my mother’s real hair. (I only saw it in pre-marriage photos.) At the time, Married women(called "Ajumma" in Korean) all had almost identical haircuts. Most mothers had no time to care for themselves, as they were overwhelmed with household chores from early morning until late at night. The short permed hairstyle was the most efficient, low-maintenance choice for them.

"Even if I had ten hands, it wouldn’t be enough."

Most married women at that time were in charge of all household duties while living with three generations in one home. Cleaning, laundry, and preparing meals for the extended family were all the mother's responsibility.

"Man is heaven, woman is earth"

In a Korean society where Confucian ideas of male superiority and female subordination were prevalent, women were seen as existing beneath men.

Transparent Shoes

"Mom, what are these transparent shoes?"
"Oh, those? They’re footbath shoes. When my feet are cold, I wear and fill them with warm water."

My mother gave birth to me at home, not in a hospital.
She didn’t receive any proper care, and she said that something must have gone wrong back then, because, ever since, her feet always have been cold.

The Butterfly Dream

"If I were a butterfly in a dream, I would have just flown away from this life…"
Whenever life became too difficult for my mother, she sometimes wished that it was all just a dream.

My mother lives in the countryside and grows vegetables in a small garden.

One day, she said, "Perhaps this is the first time I've ever done something just for myself."

So many women of her time lived not for themselves, but as wives, as mothers- always doing for someone else.

“Follow your heart, and live your own life.”

When I said I wanted to study photography, only my grandmother and my mother supported me.

Sometimes, I imagine what kind of person my mother might have become if she hadn’t been born in Korea. Perhaps my mother might have become a free-spirited artist.

gray hair:

"I'm not going to dye my hair anymore. I'm starting to like the way my gray hair looks naturally. I guess I'm nearing the end of my journey."

My mother said.

Nam-hae Funeral Home calendar:

At some point, a promotional calendar from a funeral home started hanging in my parents' house. And every year, around the end of the year, a new calendar would be delivered.

Nirvana

One day, the day will come when the bond between my mother and me will come to an end.

Whether we meet again in the next life, or if my mother enters Nirvana and we part forever,

I hope she will have a life happier than the one she has now... Goodbye, Mom.

Long, shiny, straight hair

"Mom, I hope, in your next life, you're born into a world where you can keep this beautiful hair."